A New Year is often a time full of promise.
We may be looking to find more fulfilment or to break habits that prevent us from achieving our goals. We may set out strongly with big intentions.
Some of us will manage to achieve our desires.
However, many of us will be challenged to sustain the new practices needed to create lasting change. Where we stumble is that we fail to start with the mind. We push, coerce, and try to motivate ourselves externally without making the necessary internal shifts. We fail to set ourselves up for success.
We need to accept that (at least) to begin with, nothing will change. We will have no return for our efforts, and we need to be OK with that. The trouble is, our human brain likes something in return and, especially in a world where we are used to ‘on demand’, we have lost the art of delayed gratification. We need to help our brains manage expectations.
Giving up - alcohol, coffee, sugar, smoking, spending etc., or changing habits - going to the gym, eating healthily etc., is going to be uncomfortable (at least in the short term) and its also going to take a while for us to see any results.
Are we willing to be in the discomfort of being without XYZ, whilst having nothing to replace it, until the reward comes?
We’re not going to lose all the weight on day 1 by eating less or going to the gym. Realistically, it's going to take some time - a few weeks at least of discipline and discomfort.
Is it reasonable that we will change our lives and be living our purpose within a week?
So what can we do?
If we can recognise that it probably took us a while to get to the point we are at, it then makes sense that it will also take us a while to change. We can start by giving ourselves the grace and compassion that we will need for the long haul. We can’t ‘hate’ ourselves into doing better.
If we can prepare ourselves mentally and emotionally, we are much more likely to progress.
If we can gather support from family, friends, a support group or coach, we will be more motivated.
If we spend time in preparation, knowing our reasons, honouring ourselves, having support in place for the inevitable slumps in motivation and self leadership, we are much more likely to succeed.
And perhaps for you New Year will start a little later. For me, I am still in winter, hibernating. My energy remains quite low, and although I may be sorting the seeds I wish to plant, the ground is still a little cold for me. So my New Year (or season as I prefer) usually begins some time in February. This is when I feel stronger and more able to sustain the practices that will help me.